Blah.

It’s been a minute since I last updated on my blog. I used to have so much ambition for this blogging thing but life gets in the way like what they all say…

I thought I’d start treating this blog more like a journal to chronicle my life’s adventures; or the lack thereof lol. I still love talking about money, don’t worry I’ll continue to share my money insights.

So… I currently lead a fairly boring life but normal I’d say the least. After all, striving for normalcy seems to be the tough thing to do these days. I finally started to work in a field and role I always wanted. I think what’s important about finding work like mine isn’t the pay or prestige and all that other default junk job seekers are always talking about.

I define my current role as a success in that I have finally found something that provides me the reciprocity that I have desired in so long.

My pay is directly correlated with my effort and not dependent on my team, my coworkers or my boss. I have full autonomy on how I operate my “business” and my efforts are directly reflected on my pay. I think this is a key point that most of us overlook. You might be thinking well that’s a commissioned sales job or self employment; which means it must be tough. Well, I thought so too in the beginning, but not anymore. Because, I fully appreciate reciprocity is what I’m truly seeking when it comes to employment. My effort is no longer dependent on any other factors other than myself. I can always hold myself accountable.

But of course, maybe this isn’t what you seek in particular. At least for me, I feel I have found my belonging… for now.

Nothing’s forever right?

That’s something most of us gotten a taste of from March 2020 to now. COVID, Russia-Ukraine conflict, inflation, interest rates and Zuck v. Musk.

I guess you have to be a shapeshifter whether you like it or not. We have to adapt to changes or get left behind, I know that’s so cliché (eye roll) but look at how some people got out of the pandemic very well versus those who got out of it even worse. This brings back the point I always preached; time’s finite, money’s infinite. We only live so long, but technically money still grows long after we have passed.

You ever look at the skies and realize what a speckle of dust you are in the grand scheme of things?

Again, cliché.

But seriously, I had to re-wire my brain a little bit so I can stop being a coward. Growing up, people always said I was very “Zen” as in I often shy away from conflict and instead of getting what I want, once I hit a difficult situation, I just give it up. I thank those for complimenting me as someone who’s very nice, but let’s face it, it’s called being a coward. You might think that’s a negative connotation but I beg to differ.

We’re all cowards on a daily basis don’t you think?

It’s because we often associate it with being a hero or punching a racist guy in the face. Well, that’s not it. I think we ought to take more chances and live a bit more instead of settling for comfort.

I know this is contradicting with my opening statement of having a “normal” life. I’m not saying we should all run around naked to the grocery store, I’m saying we ought to live a bit more. How many of us regret not doing anything in university? While all your buds are living it up, you decided to get your studies out of the way. I commend you for that because that’s what I did… but I didn’t get into the faculty I wanted to and instead I graduated when I was 25 while usually by 22 you should already have an undergrad degree. As well, I didn’t enjoy university life that much either, I didn’t party or date or go on trips.

What I’m saying is, it sucks.

I have been stuck so long. The positive is that finances-wise I’m doing ok; my bills are paid and I have leftover income. But I feel stuck. I’m not sure if you feel the same, if you do, let me know.

I know it’s cheesy. And I’m really hoping this works… I put together a list towards unstuck lol

1. pass my certification exam
2. travel to somewhere and disconnect

It’s not a long list and I know what I have to do but I can’t seem to focus to do it. I wouldn’t call it procrastination and I don’t know another appropriate term lol.

I used to be an ice cold savage, knocked off exams month by month like I’d care less what was going on in this world. But now, I’m on my last one and 2 more weeks before deadline and I have lost all forms of fuel for some reason. By the way, if I don’t pass by end of July, I’m told I’m toast lol. But even then for some reason, I don’t have that urge in me to study.

Weird eh? I know.

I sure hope someone else can say they’re going through or gone through something like this before and provide me with some insight. In the meanwhile, I’ll try to study for the 100th time again.